Reaching Up...

I was watching something on TV the other day--I can't even remember if it was a commercial or a show--and all I remember was seeing a mother hug her grown son. She stood on her toes, reached up, and wrapped her arms around his neck. In that instant I envisioned my own sons as grown men and tears filled my eyes.

I remember the day that I become a mother so vividly. I remember looking at Hunter's tiny features and wondering what he would look like as a little boy. What would his voice sound like? Would he be tall? Would he be a good athlete? Would he like to sing? I stared at him proudly as his tiny nostrils flared, and I thought, His "little boy days" are so far away.

As that image from the TV replays in my mind, I think about Hunter. He informed me the other day that he will be a pre-teen on his next brithday, since he'll be ten years old. The "little boy days" have come and gone. Where have the last ten years gone? And what am I doing to insure that my kids have good memories of their childhood?

I fear that I have failed terribly most days. As I yell at Jayden for the orange juice spill, I worry that these are the memories he'll carry with him. When I ignore Mason's request to help me cook dinner because I'm in a hurry to finish, I'm afraid that denial will be burned in his mind. When Kyla asks to sleep in my bed and I tell her no, I'm afraid she won't remember the times I've said yes. When Hunter asks me to play kickball and I'm too busy editing pictures, I fear that he'll only have memories of me sitting in front of the computer.

Since I've started working full-time, I've felt so torn. There are only a few hours each night to spend with my babies before bedtime, and my to-do lists are always so long. Many times I choose my list over quality time with my kids, but I'm praying that God will work a miracle in me! I don't want that day to sneak up on me...you know...the day where I have to reach up to hug my babies instead of reaching down. I want to get plenty of hugs while they still have to reach up to me. I'm praying that God will remind me every day of how precious these days are, because I don't want to miss a thing!