Stop and Smell the Coffee...

I'm at Starbucks. That's the reason for the title of this blog. But there's more to it than that.

This place has become my haven over the last few years. My go-to place when I need to think. Or work. Or pray. Or chill. Or chat with my barista buddies.

Today, it's a combination of all of the above.

I'm doing a little editing of yesterday's wedding photos. I'm chatting with my friends here when they walk by. I'm reading some encouraging blogs. I'm taking in the delicious coffee smell that I love so much.

But above all, I'm feeling an enormous amount of gratefulness in the depths of my soul.

Three years ago, although I was living a decent life by most standards, it wasn't very genuine. I went to church primarily to socialize. I sang in the praise team because it was fun for me. I stayed in an unhealthy relationship because I was too prideful to fail at marriage. I tried desperately to make sure my life looked perfect on the outside even though it was a mess at the core. In short, my life was empty.

Two years ago, I was broken. I was hurting. I was disappointed and doubting. I was wondering how my life could ever be beautiful again after the mess it had become.

Last year, I was wrapping up the toughest year of my life as I finished school. I was wondering what my next step would be. I was praying for direction and renewed passion in my life.

This brings me to today and the reason for this blog.

It's Sunday. But I didn't go to church today.

*GASP*

I probably should have. But I didn't. Some people might think that's terrible... especially if I'm going to post a blog about it. But ya know what? My faith isn't based on religious rituals. My faith is about a relationship with my Creator. And He can meet me at Starbucks just as easily as He can meet me in a church.

And while sitting here today, I've realized that my life, while still screwed up in many ways, is more authentic than it's ever been. It's far from perfect. I still have bad days. I still seek direction and focus on a daily basis. I still question the purpose behind some of the pain I've experienced. I still deal with disappointments. I still forget (too often) how blessed I am.

In the last few days, I've realized some pretty profound truths. When you realize the pain you've experienced has made you who you are, it's easier to forgive those who have hurt you. When you stop placing unwanted expectations on others, it's easier to avoid disappointment. When you recognize that you don't deserve any of the blessings in your life, it's easier to be grateful for what you've been given.

Because I stopped and smelled the coffee today, my heart is overflowing with gratitude as I reflect on the last few years--where I've been and where I am.

This year, God has blessed me with the perfect job and the best business partners. He has provided more than I've needed to take care of my kids. He's cultivated some of the most genuine relationships I've ever had. He's given me a sense of passion and purpose in everything I do.

My life isn't perfect, but it's definitely beautiful in ways I never could have imagined.

It's genuine. And that is the reason for my thankful heart today.