One-One-Eleven

Well, it's 2011--the beginning of a new year and a new decade. For me, it's a year of anticipation...the year I'm hoping things will finally "come together" as I close the chapter on one of my toughest years yet.

By July, I should be a college graduate. It's hard to believe that I started back to school a whole year ago. When I think back to the uncertain, self-conscious girl that walked into those college classrooms last January, it's hard to believe that was me. In the past year I have learned so much about who I am, but most of all I learned that I actually like me! I figured out that confidence comes from actually liking yourself. Sometimes you have to make tough decisions and face uncomfortable changes to get there, but it's always worth it in the end.

With this college degree, I hope to secure a job in the advertising field. The idea of doing something that I love and that I think I actually have some talent for really excites me. The unknown is always scary to me, though, so I'm praying now that God will gently ease me into this new career. I am confident that He will put me exactly where I need to be!

I'm also anticipating a move sometime in the next several months. I'm so thankful to my parents for providing me with an awesome apartment above their house where the kids and I have been able stay while I finish school, but I'm realizing our time will be coming to an end soon. We've had our ups and downs here, but for 10 people to be living in the same place, we have done GREAT! I know the kids and I will look back on this time with really fond memories, so I'm going to try to savor our last few months here.

This month is also the anniversary of the biggest, scariest change of my life. Sometimes I'm not sure how I survived the last year...but then I look at the family and friends surrounding me, and it's obvious. I've spent the last year crying on so many shoulders (and you all know who you are). Thank you for your love, encouragement, and listening ears. I would have been lost without you!

One of the best things that came out of my struggles this past year was the rebuilding of relationships with my family...especially my sisters. When I was five years old, I prayed and prayed for a baby sister, and God blessed me with Amy Jo. Being at different stages of life, combined with other circumstances, had somehow caused me to put our relationship on the back burner. It wasn't until I was really hurting that I realized how much I needed her...and she was waiting with open arms. The blessing of our working together still overwhelms me sometimes. It's like God is letting us make up for the time we missed. I'm so thankful for the time we have together and for the things I learn by watching her. She is wise beyond her years. I love you, Amy Jo.

Estania came to America when I was 23. I remember feeling like we would never have that "sisterly bond" because we didn't live together. I watched as she got close to Amy Jo and felt like I was missing out. I just assumed we would never relate to each other on that level. Well, here I am living above her and getting to know her in a totally new way. We can girl talk and giggle and share make-up and clothes. I feel just as close to her as I do Amy Jo, and I learn just as much by watching her. I am so proud of the confident, beautiful girl she has become. I'm also very thankful for her willingness to help me with the kids anytime I need her. And I'm so thankful to God for providing us with an atmosphere to cultivate our relationship. I love you, and I'm so proud of you, Estania! Good stuff can come out of difficult circumstances!

"I thank my God every time I remember you..." Philippians 1:3

Looking forward to the new things God will teach me in 2011!

"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland." Isaiah 43:18-19