Nothing can change who I am in Christ. Think about that. NOTHING can change who I am in CHRIST.
Sometimes I struggle with the idea of being a statistic. I'm one of those women who swore it wouldn't happen to me. But here I sit--a divorced, single mom. It's hard for me not to place my identity in that. I wanted to give up on my dreams when everything fell apart for me. I wanted to hang my head in shame and walk a pathway of pity and brokenness. I wanted to give up on myself...because I had failed.
In 2 Corinthians, Paul talks about his weaknesses as a thorn in the flesh.
"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)
I believe one of the thorns in my flesh for the rest of my life will be the fact that I'm divorced. It will follow me wherever I go. To some, I may not appear to be as "spiritual" as I once was. To others, I may not be qualified to hold certain leadership positions. When I look at myself, all I see is one gigantic mess. My failures, that I assume will define who I am, threaten to steal my joy.
But when my heavenly Father looks at me, he doesn't see me the way you may see me. He doesn't see me the way I see myself. He doesn't see my failed marriage. He doesn't see me as the exhausted mom who yells at her kids. He doesn't see my mistakes. He doesn't see any of the poor choices I make on a daily basis.
Do you know what He sees when He looks at me? He sees my Saviour, His very own Son, hanging on a cross to pay for my mess. The blood He shed on that cross covers me...past, present, and future. If I choose to live in shame and pity for the rest of my life, all that does is devalue the sacrifice my Heavenly Father provided for me!
In Romans, Paul talks about his struggle with sin.
"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." (Romans 7:15)
I'm certain that all of us would admit to having this same struggle. It's a daily battle for me! I'm learning, though, that it's not so much about whether we make the right choice every time. Of course, God desires for us to make choices that honor Him. There's no question about that.
But when it comes down to it and I make a bad decision or I fail at something, I don't think God is very concerned with my failure. I honestly believe God is more interested in what I do next.
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering. (Romans 8:1-3)
God sent His son to free me from the law, but in order to be free I have to live like I'm free! A prisoner doesn't get out of jail and lock himself in his house, yet as a Christian I spend so much time living as a prisoner. I beat myself over the head every time I fall. I struggle to get back up.
I've realized I can't live a dejected life because I'm divorced. I can't spend the rest of my life trying to fix my mess. God fixed it at all at the cross. Now all I have to do is bask in the freedom and security He has showered on me! I'm making an intentional step today. I'm done diminishing the value of the cross. I'm going to break free from the prison I've created for myself and live the life of JOY God intended.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Lesson #2 from Haiti...
Have you ever sensed God speaking to your heart and telling you to do something? When I was in third grade, my mom and dad told us we were moving from Ohio to Wisconsin because they felt like that's what God wanted. I remember asking how God spoke to them, and my mom explained that he "spoke to their hearts."
I didn't understand it until I was older, but I get it now. It's kind of like a tugging deep down in my heart...something I typically try to ignore at first. I felt this tug over a year ago when my sister was planning a trip to Haiti. She organized a family mission trip, and I knew I was supposed to go. I sensed it so strongly that I bought a plane ticket. But guess what I did at the last minute! I chickened out! As the trip drew near, I got nervous. I didn't know if it would be safe. I had four kids to think about. I didn't have the rest of the money I needed for a passport or the accommodations in Haiti. Oh, trust me....I came up with plenty of excuses.
And I didn't go.
So what...right? What's the big deal?
Well, after going to Haiti in November, I realized that the result of a trip like that isn't a feeling of satisfaction. It's not about patting ourselves on the back for helping a few Haitians with building projects. It's not about congratulating ourselves on the 40 pounds of soap we were able to pass out. It's not about feeling good because we did a good deed.
No. For me, this trip was about what God taught me!
Those sweet Haitian children showed me what pure joy is all about. They giggled and laughed and didn't seem to have a care in the world.
The two pastors we worked with demonstrated pure unselfishness. They spend all of their extra time and money helping others, while they themselves are barely scraping by.
Sweet Dieney (our 12-year-old translator) taught me that I shouldn't call people crazy ("because it says that in the Bible") and that I should be happy with my fair complexion because God made me this way. (This was after Amy Jo and I mentioned that we wanted to stay in the sun so we could be dark like him.)
So, what's the big deal about not going last summer? Now that I've been to Haiti, I've realized that I missed out on some serious blessings God probably had in store for me on that trip. Because I allowed the enemy to get in my head and discourage me, I totally missed out. And even though I've experienced Haiti now, I'll never be able to get that trip with my family back. It's over and done, and I missed it.
I never want to let that happen again! I pray that my heart will always be sensitive to God's leading. I don't ever want to miss His call or the blessings he has in store when I obey that call.
What about you? Is there something God is calling you to do but you're making excuses for why it can't be done? If God's calling you, there is a way. Feel that tug and follow Him. I promise you won't regret it.
I didn't understand it until I was older, but I get it now. It's kind of like a tugging deep down in my heart...something I typically try to ignore at first. I felt this tug over a year ago when my sister was planning a trip to Haiti. She organized a family mission trip, and I knew I was supposed to go. I sensed it so strongly that I bought a plane ticket. But guess what I did at the last minute! I chickened out! As the trip drew near, I got nervous. I didn't know if it would be safe. I had four kids to think about. I didn't have the rest of the money I needed for a passport or the accommodations in Haiti. Oh, trust me....I came up with plenty of excuses.
And I didn't go.
So what...right? What's the big deal?
Well, after going to Haiti in November, I realized that the result of a trip like that isn't a feeling of satisfaction. It's not about patting ourselves on the back for helping a few Haitians with building projects. It's not about congratulating ourselves on the 40 pounds of soap we were able to pass out. It's not about feeling good because we did a good deed.
No. For me, this trip was about what God taught me!
Those sweet Haitian children showed me what pure joy is all about. They giggled and laughed and didn't seem to have a care in the world.
The two pastors we worked with demonstrated pure unselfishness. They spend all of their extra time and money helping others, while they themselves are barely scraping by.
Sweet Dieney (our 12-year-old translator) taught me that I shouldn't call people crazy ("because it says that in the Bible") and that I should be happy with my fair complexion because God made me this way. (This was after Amy Jo and I mentioned that we wanted to stay in the sun so we could be dark like him.)
So, what's the big deal about not going last summer? Now that I've been to Haiti, I've realized that I missed out on some serious blessings God probably had in store for me on that trip. Because I allowed the enemy to get in my head and discourage me, I totally missed out. And even though I've experienced Haiti now, I'll never be able to get that trip with my family back. It's over and done, and I missed it.
I never want to let that happen again! I pray that my heart will always be sensitive to God's leading. I don't ever want to miss His call or the blessings he has in store when I obey that call.
What about you? Is there something God is calling you to do but you're making excuses for why it can't be done? If God's calling you, there is a way. Feel that tug and follow Him. I promise you won't regret it.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Lesson #1 from Haiti...
As we worked in the village of Boudet in Criox-des-Bouquet, Haiti, the girls of the group decided to wander into the field to take some pictures. Amy Jo, Estania, Morgan, and I chatted excitedly as we walked toward the tall grass with the beautiful mountainous backdrop. As we jumped and posed (with Ben watching from the house, since he wouldn't let us out of his sight), some Haitian boys wandered up. We began to speak to them, but little was understood between the group since we spoke very little Creole. We learned names and that was about it.
Then, a young boy wandered up to us.
"I speak English," he said. I think we literally jumped up and down at that point! We learned that he was 12 years old and attended a Christian school that taught English. As we chatted with him about his life and family, we tried to include the other boys in the conversation.
"Mwen grangou!" The oldest Haitian looked at us with frustration because we didn't understand what he said. I turned to Dieney, our new English-speaking Haitian friend, and asked what this man had said.
"He say he hungry," Dieney explained. The other three girls and I looked at each other, not knowing what to say. We knew we had some food in our backpack, but we also knew how carefully we had rationed our food for the week since we had decided to bring all of our own food and water to avoid any chance of getting cholera.
"We've got some candy!" Morgan piped up. "I'll be right back!" Morgan returned a few minutes later and passed out tootsie rolls to the five boys standing in front of us.
"Merci," they all replied. They devoured the candy in a matter of seconds, and the oldest one who had spoken of his hunger first said something else in Creole.
"What did he say this time?" we asked Dieney.
"He say this is the first food he ate all day," Dieney replied.
We hung our heads in sadness and shame.
"Maybe we can give them our peanut butter and crackers," Morgan suggested. She hurried back to the house to see what Ben thought about that idea. She returned a few minutes later with the food in her hands. The Haitians' eyes lit up at the sight of the simple snack we had brought.
"Merci!" We heard the word over and over as they divided the crackers among themselves. Morgan tried to explain to them that they could put the peanut butter on the crackers, but Dieney explained that their hands were dirty. After running to the house one more time, Morgan returned with some hand sanitizer. The boys all washed their hands and began to dip the crackers in the peanut butter. No one hogged it. No one pushed to get more. No one yelled. They quietly shared the snack and continually repeated the Creole word for thank you...Merci.
I thought about all the times my kids have fought over snacks--everyone wanting the last bite, the biggest half, the best snack. In front of me stood five boys who probably rarely had three meals a day (maybe not even one!), and they shared like they had a gourmet meal waiting at home. As Americans, our "stuff" has made us a greedy nation. The more we get, the more we want. It made me sick to realize I have contributed this attitude in my own kids. "Stuff" isn't the answer. I saw proof of that in Haiti. The people there have absolutely nothing, but they are still happy. Joy radiates from their faces...a joy that can only come from the Lord. If I could somehow train my kids to base their happiness on that inner joy rather than the outer "stuff", I believe my family would be much more content. The problem with this is that I don't always have that joy in my own life, so how can I pass it on to them? I'll never get it perfect as long as I live in this world, but I will be praying for that joy on a daily basis now.
"Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content." Phil. 4:11
"Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit..." Romans 15:13
Then, a young boy wandered up to us.
"I speak English," he said. I think we literally jumped up and down at that point! We learned that he was 12 years old and attended a Christian school that taught English. As we chatted with him about his life and family, we tried to include the other boys in the conversation.
"Mwen grangou!" The oldest Haitian looked at us with frustration because we didn't understand what he said. I turned to Dieney, our new English-speaking Haitian friend, and asked what this man had said.
"He say he hungry," Dieney explained. The other three girls and I looked at each other, not knowing what to say. We knew we had some food in our backpack, but we also knew how carefully we had rationed our food for the week since we had decided to bring all of our own food and water to avoid any chance of getting cholera.
"We've got some candy!" Morgan piped up. "I'll be right back!" Morgan returned a few minutes later and passed out tootsie rolls to the five boys standing in front of us.
"Merci," they all replied. They devoured the candy in a matter of seconds, and the oldest one who had spoken of his hunger first said something else in Creole.
"What did he say this time?" we asked Dieney.
"He say this is the first food he ate all day," Dieney replied.
We hung our heads in sadness and shame.
"Maybe we can give them our peanut butter and crackers," Morgan suggested. She hurried back to the house to see what Ben thought about that idea. She returned a few minutes later with the food in her hands. The Haitians' eyes lit up at the sight of the simple snack we had brought.
"Merci!" We heard the word over and over as they divided the crackers among themselves. Morgan tried to explain to them that they could put the peanut butter on the crackers, but Dieney explained that their hands were dirty. After running to the house one more time, Morgan returned with some hand sanitizer. The boys all washed their hands and began to dip the crackers in the peanut butter. No one hogged it. No one pushed to get more. No one yelled. They quietly shared the snack and continually repeated the Creole word for thank you...Merci.
I thought about all the times my kids have fought over snacks--everyone wanting the last bite, the biggest half, the best snack. In front of me stood five boys who probably rarely had three meals a day (maybe not even one!), and they shared like they had a gourmet meal waiting at home. As Americans, our "stuff" has made us a greedy nation. The more we get, the more we want. It made me sick to realize I have contributed this attitude in my own kids. "Stuff" isn't the answer. I saw proof of that in Haiti. The people there have absolutely nothing, but they are still happy. Joy radiates from their faces...a joy that can only come from the Lord. If I could somehow train my kids to base their happiness on that inner joy rather than the outer "stuff", I believe my family would be much more content. The problem with this is that I don't always have that joy in my own life, so how can I pass it on to them? I'll never get it perfect as long as I live in this world, but I will be praying for that joy on a daily basis now.
"Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content." Phil. 4:11
"Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit..." Romans 15:13
Monday, November 8, 2010
Information VS Transformation
Have you ever had one of those days where God spoke to you in so many ways that you couldn't ignore Him? The random reminders from my weekend have led me to this empty screen with the cursor blinking in front of me. My head is full of so many thoughts with so little organization. So before I go any further, I am asking God to speak through me.
Lord, give me the words to share my heart with clarity. Give me the courage to be vulnerable and the wisdom to voice what You have laid on my heart.
I spent the weekend with my best friend who recently moved to Dothan, three hours away. I was blessed to worship with her family at their new church and listened to very inspiring lessons in their Life Groups and in the church service. The first thing that snatched me up from my daydreaming was when Brother Van said, "We're not here for information. We're here for transformation." Wow. How many of us can really say we go to church to be transformed? How many of us sit in the pews and jot down a few notes so we can say we listened without ever taking to heart what God has spoken? I know I'm guilty of thatsometimes most of the time. I'm tired of going to church to play the role of "Christian." I think we have enough people trying out for that part in the Play of Life. I'd like to be different.
So how can we do that? First of all, what would set us apart and make us stand out as someone who really comes to church looking for transformation? And then, how do we get there? Brother Van clarified this for me. We have to invest in people. SPLASH is the acronym he shared. Show People Love And Share Him. If I want to be transformed I have to make it a point to love people, even when it's hard. I think the only way to do that is to pray for a transformation in our hearts--not just once, but on a daily basis! I am going to beg God to change my heart. I feel like I've wasted so much time investing in things that don't matter. I sometimes spend hours on Facebook, when I could be out connecting with someone face-to-face and making a difference in someone's life. I'm praying God will change me from the inside out, starting with my heart. When my heart has changed, my actions will reflect those changes.
I am the first one to call others out on this subject of actions matching up with words, and I've discovered I'm just as guilty of this discrepancy. I spend so many Sundays in church, but very few of them are more than informational meetings for me. I gather information that I can file away in my head, but how often am I letting these things soak into my heart? If I'm honest, it's not very often. I can make it seem like I've absorbed the information, but I think that's because I've gotten pretty amazing at acting. Maybe I should move to Hollywood and get a role on the big screen playing a Christian. :-)
So my resolution is to start from here and make a change. I want to be transformed, and I want to invest in people. I could wallow in regret over the time I've already wasted, but that will only waste more time! Like the Addison Road song says, "Every moment is a second chance at starting over." So this is my moment and this is my new start.
Lord, give me the words to share my heart with clarity. Give me the courage to be vulnerable and the wisdom to voice what You have laid on my heart.
I spent the weekend with my best friend who recently moved to Dothan, three hours away. I was blessed to worship with her family at their new church and listened to very inspiring lessons in their Life Groups and in the church service. The first thing that snatched me up from my daydreaming was when Brother Van said, "We're not here for information. We're here for transformation." Wow. How many of us can really say we go to church to be transformed? How many of us sit in the pews and jot down a few notes so we can say we listened without ever taking to heart what God has spoken? I know I'm guilty of that
So how can we do that? First of all, what would set us apart and make us stand out as someone who really comes to church looking for transformation? And then, how do we get there? Brother Van clarified this for me. We have to invest in people. SPLASH is the acronym he shared. Show People Love And Share Him. If I want to be transformed I have to make it a point to love people, even when it's hard. I think the only way to do that is to pray for a transformation in our hearts--not just once, but on a daily basis! I am going to beg God to change my heart. I feel like I've wasted so much time investing in things that don't matter. I sometimes spend hours on Facebook, when I could be out connecting with someone face-to-face and making a difference in someone's life. I'm praying God will change me from the inside out, starting with my heart. When my heart has changed, my actions will reflect those changes.
I am the first one to call others out on this subject of actions matching up with words, and I've discovered I'm just as guilty of this discrepancy. I spend so many Sundays in church, but very few of them are more than informational meetings for me. I gather information that I can file away in my head, but how often am I letting these things soak into my heart? If I'm honest, it's not very often. I can make it seem like I've absorbed the information, but I think that's because I've gotten pretty amazing at acting. Maybe I should move to Hollywood and get a role on the big screen playing a Christian. :-)
So my resolution is to start from here and make a change. I want to be transformed, and I want to invest in people. I could wallow in regret over the time I've already wasted, but that will only waste more time! Like the Addison Road song says, "Every moment is a second chance at starting over." So this is my moment and this is my new start.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
September Randomness
Tonight I have so many things on my heart that need to be documented. There will be no rhyme or reason to this post...just random thoughts I've had today.
First, I thought today about all the "unknowns" I've conquered this past year:
1. God gave me peace and courage to change a situation I felt was out of my control. Divorce is definitely not part of God's perfect will for anyone, but His grace is sufficient to carry me through it. I am now a statistic (something I wanted to avoid at all costs), but God's peace surpasses all understanding. Along with this came the unknown of being a single mom. That's probably the most unglamorous stereotype I've ever been labeled, but I wear it proudly. My kids are the one (or four, if you want to get technical) thing that keeps me willing to face unknowns.
2. I stepped out into the unknown world of university life! I've put this off for so long simply because I was nervous about being one of those obnoxious "older" students.I'm pretty sure I've succeeded at fooling everyone into believing I'm just a "normal" student. And I really love college! (Although, I'm ready to finish ASAP.)
3. I re-entered the working world and added the unknown insurance world to my list of conquerables. If someone had told me back in April that I would know what 100/300/100 means or that I would actually be a licensed insurance producer by August, I don't think I would have believed them. God has blessed me with an incredible job, working with amazing people (including my sister).
4. I drove to Atlanta with my four munchkins and conquered the unknown of traveling alone with four grumpy kids! :-) No, actually, they were great, and the whole trip empowered me and helped me to realize I can do this!!
5. There are many more--new elementary school, new friendships, changed friendships, emotions I've never felt before, vulnerability--you name it, I'm pretty sure I've covered it this year. If not, then I'm sure God has new "unknowns" waiting just around the corner. :-)
My other random subject deals with my precious kids. Last night was awful! (Keep reading to get to the good part.) Hunter had a rough night and didn't want to go to bed. He's a little too much like his mama and stresses out about grades if they're not all A's. I was hoping he had slept it off, but much to my chagrin he woke up just as grumpy this morning. Being a mom stresses me out! It got to the point where I literally threw my hands up and said, "I don't know what to do."
Much to my surprise, Hunter came home from school a different kid. As I was getting ready to tuck the kids in bed, Hunter said, "Mom, we should read the Bible before we go to bed." Of course, I told him that was a great idea, so he read us a whole chapter of Colossians. How sweet to hear his little voice read the Word of God as his brothers and sister listened. Even now, it brings tears to my eyes. We ended the night by singing songs together and I could only marvel at God's perfect timing. He knew I was at my wit's end...and he used my 9-year-old son to encourage me. I'm so amazed...and so thankful.
Life isn't perfect, but life is definitely good.
First, I thought today about all the "unknowns" I've conquered this past year:
1. God gave me peace and courage to change a situation I felt was out of my control. Divorce is definitely not part of God's perfect will for anyone, but His grace is sufficient to carry me through it. I am now a statistic (something I wanted to avoid at all costs), but God's peace surpasses all understanding. Along with this came the unknown of being a single mom. That's probably the most unglamorous stereotype I've ever been labeled, but I wear it proudly. My kids are the one (or four, if you want to get technical) thing that keeps me willing to face unknowns.
2. I stepped out into the unknown world of university life! I've put this off for so long simply because I was nervous about being one of those obnoxious "older" students.I'm pretty sure I've succeeded at fooling everyone into believing I'm just a "normal" student. And I really love college! (Although, I'm ready to finish ASAP.)
3. I re-entered the working world and added the unknown insurance world to my list of conquerables. If someone had told me back in April that I would know what 100/300/100 means or that I would actually be a licensed insurance producer by August, I don't think I would have believed them. God has blessed me with an incredible job, working with amazing people (including my sister).
4. I drove to Atlanta with my four munchkins and conquered the unknown of traveling alone with four grumpy kids! :-) No, actually, they were great, and the whole trip empowered me and helped me to realize I can do this!!
5. There are many more--new elementary school, new friendships, changed friendships, emotions I've never felt before, vulnerability--you name it, I'm pretty sure I've covered it this year. If not, then I'm sure God has new "unknowns" waiting just around the corner. :-)
My other random subject deals with my precious kids. Last night was awful! (Keep reading to get to the good part.) Hunter had a rough night and didn't want to go to bed. He's a little too much like his mama and stresses out about grades if they're not all A's. I was hoping he had slept it off, but much to my chagrin he woke up just as grumpy this morning. Being a mom stresses me out! It got to the point where I literally threw my hands up and said, "I don't know what to do."
Much to my surprise, Hunter came home from school a different kid. As I was getting ready to tuck the kids in bed, Hunter said, "Mom, we should read the Bible before we go to bed." Of course, I told him that was a great idea, so he read us a whole chapter of Colossians. How sweet to hear his little voice read the Word of God as his brothers and sister listened. Even now, it brings tears to my eyes. We ended the night by singing songs together and I could only marvel at God's perfect timing. He knew I was at my wit's end...and he used my 9-year-old son to encourage me. I'm so amazed...and so thankful.
Life isn't perfect, but life is definitely good.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Lighting Up My Corner
At a Bible study I attended last night, the four of us there decided we are frustrated and sickened by the world we live in. The more knowledge we gain about our economy, politics, government, or any other topic, the more depressing it can be. We all agreed we have to keep ourselves from focusing on the temporary things of this life and focus on eternity. We were created as eternal beings, and the more time passes the more I realize how important it is to maintain an eternal focus. On my way to work this morning I heard the awesome song Natalie Grant sings called "Human". It was just another reminder that we need to take advantage of every moment on this earth to make a difference for eternity. Here's the chorus:
We gotta do better than this cuz we only got
one chance to make a difference.
We gotta do better than this cuz we only got
one life that we've been given.
A little love, a little kindness, a little light in this time of darkness--
It'll be what makes us different. It'll be what makes us human.
I'm human. You're human, We are human.
Instead of getting depressed, we need to be a little light in the darkness! I'm taking this as a challenge to light up my small corner of the world. Will you accept the challenge, too?
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
We gotta do better than this cuz we only got
one chance to make a difference.
We gotta do better than this cuz we only got
one life that we've been given.
A little love, a little kindness, a little light in this time of darkness--
It'll be what makes us different. It'll be what makes us human.
I'm human. You're human, We are human.
Instead of getting depressed, we need to be a little light in the darkness! I'm taking this as a challenge to light up my small corner of the world. Will you accept the challenge, too?
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
My Holding Pattern
A few weekends ago I was able to fly to Wisconsin to visit some old friends. Despite the horrible delays, I thoroughly enjoyed my flights. On my flight from Pensacola to Atlanta, we had to fly a holding pattern before we were able to land.
Have you ever felt as if your life was in a holding pattern? Maybe you are waiting for that perfect job. Or your finances aren't quite in order. Or you can't wait to be married. Or you're busy raising kids. Maybe you don't really know what it is you're waiting for...but you're circling through life desperately waiting for change.
I've been flying in cirlces lately. Don't get me wrong...life is good. I've been through some major changes in the last year, and God has carried me the whole way. My frustrations stem from the fact that I want to do more, be more, and serve more. My schedule as a full-time student and working mom can be overwhelming. There aren't enough hours in the day to do laundry, let alone find time to serve my Savior in some grand way. I have to admit my thoughts have gone something like this lately:
Once I finish school, then I can find out where God wants to use me.
My kids are too young. I'll have to wait until they're older to make a difference.
I don't have enough money to make a difference.
I can barely keep up with my own responsibilites. How can God use me if I'm exhausted?
I'll have to wait until I have more time to serve God the way my heart desires.
I can't really serve God until my heart is more focused on Him.
And do you know what's happening as these thoughts run through my head? I'm becoming more and more frustrated. My heart is burning with desire--a desire to make a difference. And I'm steadily making excuses about why I can't do that right now. It's my holding pattern.
God doesn't always work the way we expect. I'm sure we would all love for God to open some major door right in front of us and present the opportunity that would make us feel as if we were accomplishing something great for our Savior. But God just wants to use us where we are! He's been whispering to my heart about this lately, and it hit me today that I am in contact with more people on a daily basis now than I ever have been! What an amazing opportunity for me to serve my Savior! Whether it's on the campus of the University of South Alabama or behind my desk at Farmers Insurance or even in my own home, God can use my passions for His glory if I am willing. If I constantly look to the future and where I want to serve someday, then I'll completely miss out on the here and now.
Opportunities to serve don't always come as big mahogony doors that swing wide open. Sometimes an opportunity appears in the form of a cracked window and we have to gradually pry it open until it's wide enough to crawl through it. Tomorrow is a new day, and I'm ready to stop making excuses. I'm going to get out of this holding pattern by crawling through the window. Who's with me? :-)
"Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, let us use them..." Romans 12:6
Have you ever felt as if your life was in a holding pattern? Maybe you are waiting for that perfect job. Or your finances aren't quite in order. Or you can't wait to be married. Or you're busy raising kids. Maybe you don't really know what it is you're waiting for...but you're circling through life desperately waiting for change.
I've been flying in cirlces lately. Don't get me wrong...life is good. I've been through some major changes in the last year, and God has carried me the whole way. My frustrations stem from the fact that I want to do more, be more, and serve more. My schedule as a full-time student and working mom can be overwhelming. There aren't enough hours in the day to do laundry, let alone find time to serve my Savior in some grand way. I have to admit my thoughts have gone something like this lately:
Once I finish school, then I can find out where God wants to use me.
My kids are too young. I'll have to wait until they're older to make a difference.
I don't have enough money to make a difference.
I can barely keep up with my own responsibilites. How can God use me if I'm exhausted?
I'll have to wait until I have more time to serve God the way my heart desires.
I can't really serve God until my heart is more focused on Him.
And do you know what's happening as these thoughts run through my head? I'm becoming more and more frustrated. My heart is burning with desire--a desire to make a difference. And I'm steadily making excuses about why I can't do that right now. It's my holding pattern.
God doesn't always work the way we expect. I'm sure we would all love for God to open some major door right in front of us and present the opportunity that would make us feel as if we were accomplishing something great for our Savior. But God just wants to use us where we are! He's been whispering to my heart about this lately, and it hit me today that I am in contact with more people on a daily basis now than I ever have been! What an amazing opportunity for me to serve my Savior! Whether it's on the campus of the University of South Alabama or behind my desk at Farmers Insurance or even in my own home, God can use my passions for His glory if I am willing. If I constantly look to the future and where I want to serve someday, then I'll completely miss out on the here and now.
Opportunities to serve don't always come as big mahogony doors that swing wide open. Sometimes an opportunity appears in the form of a cracked window and we have to gradually pry it open until it's wide enough to crawl through it. Tomorrow is a new day, and I'm ready to stop making excuses. I'm going to get out of this holding pattern by crawling through the window. Who's with me? :-)
"Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, let us use them..." Romans 12:6
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